Is persistent bad luck another “gift” of narcissistic abuse?
I believe there are a multitude of reasons for this. let me tell you what I have discovered on my long hard journey. if you are running the alternative program (codependent behavior) caused by growing up in a narcissistic or dysfunctional home (for more information on this see my video entitled “The ultimate secret to healing from a lifetime of emotional and narcissistic abuse”) then you are not in the driver seat of your life. An analogy to help you understand how crippling this is, is imagine trying to drive a car across the country sitting in the front passenger seat instead of the driver seat and what is even more unsettling is you have not the foggiest idea that you’re not in the driver seat OMG! If you are experiencing the symptoms such as chronic bad luck and a lot of the other codependent symptoms this is exactly what you’re doing. No wonder we end up in train smashes every day and our middle name is bad luck.
This codependent alternative program causes you to subconsciously put your own needs for thriving and self well-being as a secondary or other distant concern. although it may look like on the surface this is not the case the fact is that you are not being as first person proactive about positive outcomes that will affect you as you would be if you were in the driver seat of your own life. this is because others, their stuff, actions and opinions still hold primary position for you, and so outcomes of situations will be stunted.
your perception of what makes a good friend is flawed. You may still be running on what your dominant dysfunctional maybe even narcissistic parent would have approved of as your friend. I know I was doing that. subconsciously I was picking the friends I thought my father would be impressed by. I was also missing the warning signs these friends with similar traits to my dysfunctional family were emanating to tell me they weren’t as genuine as they seemed, because my boundaries were so messed up from my emotionally abusive childhood. so when the cookie crumbled for me my friends turned on me too which at the time totally floored me. LOL! talk about bad luck, but as I gained more understanding I realized it was not bad luck, there was a reason why these negative things were happening.
and after quite a bit of painful self-examination I realized I was the reason. let’s make it clear it wasn’t my fault but I was the reason. that’s actually good because it means I can fix it.
often when we have come from a dysfunctional family we are not in touch with her own feelings. so we missed the warning signs in situations and people which in turn leads us to bad outcomes.
The codependent (alternative program) we are often running if we have come from a dysfunctional family is visible to others in many subconscious ways. it’s in our body language what we say and how we act, and it sends statements about us, and also triggers behaviors in the individuals that perceive it. Believe me there are a lot of people out there that are somewhat predatory, and just like predators they smell our blood, our insecurities and weaknesses from these subconscious statements we are emitting.
can you see why it is so important to heal your self-esteem and the dysfunctional programs you are running within yourself, because subconsciously you broadcasting them to the whole world. in fact you are telling the world how to treat you buy what you think of yourself.
There was something else I noticed in the depths of my struggles, and although others will say it was only because I was focused on it I am convinced that this is not the case from what I experienced.
I found that the more desperately I wanted something to happen the less chance there was that it happened. However when I was less emotionally involved in a positive outcome for something it usually went better than I expected.
link to BBC documentary on quantum mechanics: