Is persistent bad luck another “gift” of narcissistic abuse?

I believe there are a multitude of reasons for this. let me tell you what I have discovered on my long hard journey. if you are running the alternative program (codependent behavior) caused by growing up in a narcissistic or dysfunctional home (for more information on this see my video entitled “The ultimate secret to healing from a lifetime of emotional and narcissistic abuse”) then you are not in the driver seat of your life. An analogy to help you understand how crippling this is, is imagine trying to drive a car across the country sitting in the front passenger seat instead of the driver seat and what is even more unsettling is you have not the foggiest idea that you’re not in the driver seat OMG! If you are experiencing the symptoms such as chronic bad luck and a lot of the other codependent symptoms this is exactly what you’re doing. No wonder we end up in train smashes every day and our middle name is bad luck.

This codependent alternative program causes you to subconsciously put your own needs for thriving and self well-being as a secondary or other distant concern. although it may look like on the surface this is not the case the fact is that you are not being as first person proactive about positive outcomes that will affect you as you would be if you were in the driver seat of your own life. this is because others, their stuff, actions and opinions still hold primary position for you, and so outcomes of situations will be stunted.

your perception of what makes a good friend is flawed. You may still be running on what your dominant dysfunctional maybe even narcissistic parent would have approved of as your friend. I know I was doing that. subconsciously I was picking the friends I thought my father would be impressed by. I was also missing the warning signs these friends with similar traits to my dysfunctional family were emanating to tell me they weren’t as genuine as they seemed, because my boundaries were so messed up from my emotionally abusive childhood. so when the cookie crumbled for me my friends turned on me too which at the time totally floored me. LOL! talk about bad luck, but as I gained more understanding I realized it was not bad luck, there was a reason why these negative things were happening.

and after quite a bit of painful self-examination I realized I was the reason. let’s make it clear it wasn’t my fault but I was the reason. that’s actually good because it means I can fix it.

often when we have come from a dysfunctional family we are not in touch with her own feelings. so we missed the warning signs in situations and people which in turn leads us to bad outcomes.

The codependent (alternative program) we are often running if we have come from a dysfunctional family is visible to others in many subconscious ways. it’s in our body language what we say and how we act, and it sends statements about us, and also triggers behaviors in the individuals that perceive it. Believe me there are a lot of people out there that are somewhat predatory, and just like predators they smell our blood, our insecurities and weaknesses from these subconscious statements we are emitting.

can you see why it is so important to heal your self-esteem and the dysfunctional programs you are running within yourself, because subconsciously you broadcasting them to the whole world. in fact you are telling the world how to treat you buy what you think of yourself.

There was something else I noticed in the depths of my struggles, and although others will say it was only because I was focused on it I am convinced that this is not the case from what I experienced.

I found that the more desperately I wanted something to happen the less chance there was that it happened. However when I was less emotionally involved in a positive outcome for something it usually went better than I expected.


link to BBC documentary on quantum mechanics:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Categories: Motorcycle


  1. Rainbow Shaman
    Rainbow Shaman 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Hey sweet,
    I've been listening/watching your channel for a while.. good stuff.. thank you for helping us all ..(((BIG HUGS)))))

    The bad luck stuff and negativity…. I think that we put out a vibration..(like bashar says).

    my observations,
    my houseplants all died back when he was here but have significantly grown since he left…

    My physical ailments have all gone (not today meh) now he has although i still flip flop with my emotions (its only been 6 weeks since we split)…

    luck is still poo atm… but i have gratitude for everything that i do have.. i sing and smile.. but also cry a lot still..
    today is his birthday. My tummy n back troubles are returned.
    Vibration is everything. everything is vibration.
    PeaceLoveUnityRespect. Bow. x

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  2. optizap
    optizap 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Recommend reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

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  3. Violet
    Violet 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Thank you for doing this video. I used to wonder why I had such bad luck before, attracting so many bad situations and people. I kept getting traumatized and abused. I realized this past year that both of my parents are narcissistic and I've attracted many other narcissists and manipulative people in general into my life, including two ex boyfriends, two years and four years. My feelings were never acknowledged growing up and I accepted whatever it was my parents told me. They projected so much on to me. My mother would do things like tell us she was going to kill us while speeding around in a moving vehicle. She also told us she hated us and wished she never had us. She's called me selfish among other things over the years and blames everything on me. My Dad sexually abused me and would humiliate me for fun. And then I had those two ex-boyfriends, one who ended up being physically and sexually abusive and then another who would force me to be around people who raped me, and one guy who tried to rape me during a panic attack , gaslighted me, things of that nature. I couldn't even get into it all in this one comment everything they did that was abusive. I was surrounded by nothing but terrible people for the most part. But I've taken back my life and now it's like I'm attracting more good things. I've figured out who I am. I didn't remember a lot and didn't even know what was going on, I thought abuse was completely normal because none of this was ever taken seriously. As soon as I started recognizing everything that was happening, things started getting better. I was no longer just attracting bad into my life but good finally. I guess because I wasn't facing these things before and because of the amnesia due to a lot of dissociation, I wasn't able to do anything about this on a conscious level. So It was just working off of what was buried, which was a lot, and a lot of programming from people telling me I was a whore, crazy, manipulative, a narcissist, an embarrassment, stupid, etc. I believed It and I felt I wasn't worth love. They really do spot people like us. I'm autistic and didn't find out until I started trying to figure all this out, and started discovering my authentic self. Now that I'm seeing things for the way they really are and giving myself the self-love I deserve, things have been looking up. Your videos really help me through all of this and I just wanted to say thank you. I wish I could say more but I'm just going to ramble on forever. I tried to sum everything up the best I could. Take care.

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  4. Tricia M
    Tricia M 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Thank you for another great video. I think, whenever anyone is closely tied to a narcissist, the way in which the narc manipulates and controls their victim, the narc does it in such a way that the victim's thoughts are consumed by the narc virtually all the time. And that's the way the narc wants it. I find that when my life is narc-free, I'm able to find time for my passions and goals, and I'm able to soar and accomplish things I can't when there's a narc in my life. Just recently I decided I was going to fill the void of missing my narc with once again following my passions. I spent a day writing and submitted my piece to our big local newspaper. Tonight I got a phone call from the editor that they are going to publish my piece. For me, one of the differences between a healthy relationship and a relationship with a narc is that a healthy relationship enables me to concentrate on becoming the best I can be and to accomplish things I never thought possible. With a narc, I'm so consumed with trying to figure out how to make the relationship work, that I have no time for anything else. So to me, it's not so much about bad luck but about feeling like I'm a caged bird with a narc. I think we all are searching for that key to unlock the door to our cage, so we can fly free and high to the Heavens. What can feel better than soaring through the sky encumbered?

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  5. Renee S
    Renee S 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    I tend to agree with you that an energy or power is in the works and it has ruined the lives of all life having ever existed on this planet. Daring to go even further, this energy or power that works against all people, but mostly against the weakest or most innocent among us. That is the polar opposite of the energy or power that caused all of creation. Clearly, the most wicked and deceptive are the winners while those peaceful, loving or weak fare the worst. Terrible things happen even to Narcissists and good things happen to both you and I. Again, in agreement with you that we stand out to predators. I'll just say it. The Bible stands proven correct with what's happening world wide. 2 Timothy, Chapter 3 gives specific details of what mankind, as a whole, will become. Further, John 8:44 tells those described in Timothy as having the Devil as their father, thinking and acting like him. Before the Great Flood in Noah's day, we are told in Genesis, Chapter 6 that what is later identified as rebellious angels (and the Bible states angels are heavenly beings… god-like and invisible to us, aka energy or power). Those were able to take human form and they took any woman, and as many women, as they desired. Their children were basically beasts and filled the earth's population with only badness. Science can only provide theory on the how; some scientists have assessed the knowledge of mankind to date and conclude God is real. Narcissists aren't the biological children of the bad angels (demons) or the Devil, they are the spiritual children… thinking and acting as they do which is to destroy all goodness, love and life. They demand from us, the complete adoration and obedience their father(s) betrayed God to get. Who are their fathers? Ultimately the Satan the Devil, but even he isn't God and can't be every where at once all the time. But his legion of brothers (Satan's the arch-demon) come upon those inviting them. The man I thought a gentle and loving sheep, designed as if for me, turned out to be only that wolf in sheep's clothing the Bible warns us about. We, as good, peaceful and loving people are instructed to know the fruits (ways/behaviors) of God's Spirit, describing in detail for us at Galatians 5:22 what his children would be like; compare that to the children of God's enemy (or opposite) as mentioned above at 2 Timothy 3. The Bible also tells us that mankind will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. Also, your point in questioning the information of the "experts" that decide what we know or don't know is something mankind, from the earliest recordings (as proven by our own history, per the experts, in addition to the very alive mentality is yet most people today, questioning/challenging the authorities without an army behind us, leaves us as sitting ducks. I'm not buying the "experts" data which is the only written evidence for us in regards the numbers among us now that think and act in ways destructive to others, "the more the merrier" is every Narcissists goal. If you're not their immediate target, they walk unnoticed by the masses, as seemingly good neighbors, often, everyone adores them. You and I once did too. That's why the Bible also tells us we will recognize them by their fruits (behaviors). Unfortunately, only those able to see good (fruits of God's Spirit) will be attracted enough to unite our souls to theirs. Why? These charmers wearing the false mask of Mr. Nice Guy and while their harem often exists of many not so good ladies, happily remaining in the background where you can't see them, it's you they desire. They desire to receive the worship you give to God and if you let them down, you will be destroyed. Fortunately, you and I passed, like Jesus, we were tempted at our weakest times, and we emerged, leaving behind the spawn of Satan. But, as the Bible forewarns us, it isn't over just quite yet. Now that we've identified them, we are being completely surrounded. Oh the betrayals upon us are gonna hurt. Stand fast and praise God that this means, according to Jesus as man on earth and as sitting at God's right hand in the heavens (the spirits are described as stars in various glories and roles) in the Bible's last Book, Revelation. It's the Bible I trust, and friend, you and I and all persons not yet abandoning the Creator's Spirit all of us are born with are in devil's playground for his children, the modern day Nephilim. The Bible tells us this tragedy will be corrected before all God's faithful children are destroyed. If you're not convinced yet, consider this: Like Eve, you and I were deceived. And, like Adam, we too have tasted that fruit, and we too blame our own deceiver, our Narcissist. We are definitely children of our earthly parents, deserving of death. Good news! God paid the redemption price for us to return to Him, should we so chose. Chose wisely! God bless you.

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  6. Haseeb Rana
    Haseeb Rana 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Its a damn endless vortex , a black hole of bad luck depression and never ending hell of repetitive thoughts and emotions..I am the second born of a Narc Family with semi schizo symptoms not much freedom and an under achiever boy..and the firstborn being the opposite and the lastborn having my parents only get along on finances nothing else dad has aspergers untreated as well who never listens and mom who is 200% detached now and We all are on the verge of collapse like I would never see the light of day living in this asylum ever although I was a positive person but it got drained along with my energy in this mess

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  7. Vive La France
    Vive La France 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Excellent and very helpful video. Thank you. It's true. These opportunistic parasites DO smell blood/vulnerable traits. The long strings of bad luck and resulting urge to not 'jinx' ourselves feels like a curse. hoping for a good outcome of something I'm trying to make happen. I'm now careful to WHOM I express my hopes and aspirations. That's very fascinating about that quantum mechanics thing of expecting & hoping for something making the opposite happen. I guess it might be good (albeit a challenge) to quell our expression of expectations…to keep a lid on our expression or even personal excitement of possibilities & not 'count eggs before hatched'…lest we jinx ourselves. Your theory IS interesting. I too have experienced inordinate proportions of bad luck.A multi-year stream now (ironically, starting right after I fired my narc x parents) Will try harder not to feel/act too hopeful –and not to TELL my hopes to hardly anyone till I know for sure of the outcome…lest I jinx myself.Sounds crazy but I believe you're onto something.You mentioning the law of averages with the hopeful-card-analogy sold me on your theory.

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  8. msmay54
    msmay54 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Hi DD. Good video thank you. I only want to comment about your "woo woo" stuff really. I know what you are trying to say. I totally agree with you. I learn by watching and listening. Reading is no good for me. I have a problem with trying to articulate what I have just learned, as well. even though I understand it perfectly myself. I believe it takes practice, to change the outcome of whatever it is that you're thinking of, but it can be done. I've done it too. It's not as simple as just 'mind over matter', but an actual turning of events that change within you and what it is that you are doing. But it doesn't happen every time. Hope that makes sense. Thanks . :)

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  9. Breakthrough Moment
    Breakthrough Moment 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    You might find the Brahma Kumaris interesting, a form of meditation that goes seriously deep. Just type Brahma Kumaris in the YT search and check out the Sister Shivani videos (a series of interviews with Suresh Oberoi). I think this could benefit you.

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  10. researcher
    researcher 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    What you describe is a type of "Abuse Spectrum" like Autism. It is like the brain changes and is damaged, or wired incorrectly because of the persons response to neglect or Narc abuse. The similarities between Narcissists and co-dependents and those on the Autism spectrum (Aspergers) is amazing to me. I'm not saying people with Autism are Narcissists or have been victims of abuse; but what I am saying is there are strong similarities regarding particular bahaviours in Autism and those on the 'Abuse Spectrum.'

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  11. Katrin Murnain
    Katrin Murnain 16 June, 2016, 06:06


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  12. Christy Hutcherson
    Christy Hutcherson 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Very good video! My sister used to say this all the time, and it makes total sense now that we know what we know about our mother. Once we are able to see it and detach from that energy and stop attracting it, I feel our "luck" or trajectory can change. I like to use mantras and mudras to center and change my own inner energy, and it does make a big difference. It's a constant practice I must do and so worth it. Thank you once again!

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  13. kicknitoldschool91
    kicknitoldschool91 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Bad luck part had me pegged

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  14. Maxwell King
    Maxwell King 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Good Sweetheart,

    Plenty of Narcs in Science + Academia and plenty of Narc conduct aswell… Very very very Narc meowww!

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  15. Valli S
    Valli S 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Yes, I believe you are on to something here. I can identify with much of what you are saying. I've noticed, over the last few years, there is freedom in letting go, not caring as much, finding particular stages of truth and letting it set me free….all these having a positive outcome in the here- and-now events in my daily life. There is, indeed, a great deal that Science doesn't know and, if they do, will not allow, some of which may be tied to their world view and their stake in keeping secret many things that would refute their religious beliefs. After all, they have a vested interest in keeping the power and money in their own portals.

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  16. Anti-zionism movement
    Anti-zionism movement 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    So insightful. Global warming is a lie also as part of this agenda which the grand narcs are currently rolling out – U.N. Agenda 21. Please watch Ann Bressington (MLC) explain what that will mean for us all.


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  17. Mo Poppins
    Mo Poppins 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Excellent video! You've articulated all of the things that abuse survivors are apt to encounter in the world.

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  18. GGator Country
    GGator Country 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Keep in mind, the NARC loves a complicated relationship, for it allows them to manipulate us and hide who they really are. They're never committed to something you can hold them to!

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  19. Holidayin germany
    Holidayin germany 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    I think there are two things going on here. First of all after the narcissist kept you in limbo and you go out on your own, for the first time you confront all life's problems on your own and this can feel strange, overwhelming and odd. Even though the narcissist is abusive his control does shield you from real life in some strange way. Seconds; Yes the law of attraction is real. If you fear bad things you attract them becos you think about them all the time. Good luck!

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  20. GGator Country
    GGator Country 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    it's true, Narcissist seem to become more a narcissist towards those they believe are closest to them. This means they feel more comfortable with that predator behavior that lives within them. Entitlement and grandiosity get amplified by the involvement of those who don't stand up for themselves and therefore become the target of all the entitlement and grand expectations. …We are left felling like a failure because the Narcissist appears violated by our perceived failures to make his/her Narc world become a reality. .. when things have gotten to this point its time to dust your feet and move on. … the Narc as we all know will never succumb to our reality because they truly feel we are the problem in their false reality…the end result is no one is on the same page. At least the victims reality is based on real expectations that can be met … vs… the total impossible expectation of the Narc which no living human can live up to! Hence the Narc knows this and looks for those victims that will try to make it happen. I'd rather be with a Co-depended any day over a NARC ! Sadly the Narc knows all this just as we understand it but we're talking about a predator not a loving giving kind ! Never expect the Narc to be on the level and if it seems they are its guaranteed they are Lying (acting) !!!!

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  21. kookiecanuck
    kookiecanuck 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    you look kinda tired..hmm collapsed lung ..seizure associated from stress related..thrown into a homeless shelter…hmmmm bully bully control of anything trying to get back on your feet having been kicked everywat imaginable..for really no explainable reason…other than they could…as in the old senario kick the dog when iits down…i know there are a few others..but rubbing saly in wounds?…add insult to injury…? I usually try to look at bottomline worse case scenarios….then if that doesn;t happen..BONUS..YAY..if it gets worse then i have to kick myself again for a false prediction after narc abuse…seems like able to step in dog shit slip in it and fall down…even when lassie isn;t even in the neighborhood…hmm could be coon shit…after narc abuseyou almost have to become a professional on mant scirnces including what shit you are dealing with//One thing Narcs might produce from their victims is a highly aware society of zombies for those who survive…..bdeep..bdeeep…bdeppp..dare not sleep..they still exist in your some twisted way surviving narc abuse might make you stronger in some ways..and weaker in others such as never really trusting anyone anymore pribably more enhanced by what you encountered in the first olace,,lie cheat and the inuebdo so to speak you probably are more knowkedgable than the abuser which is kinda beside the point…since they still have their fic…its up to you to use knowledge gainrd from years of abuse to put it to good use..not feed those bastards..not sure if others hit te breaking point the same way..whe i was thrown into a homeless shelter for no good reason..WTF? OK that felt like another dislocated disc inmy back and even deeppey in my heart and soul..what is wrong with these freaks?…can;t be me..?//Damn I never pretended to be an angel or actually feed my flaws enjoying a cold beer…hmm bad what warrants all the extrme behaviors that are cruel life changing events bt psychotics narcissists fanatic idiots..who get away with it//I could get into a long drawn out story about my narc dysfunc family but might as well wait for the movie…go watch the movie'MISERY'..ruff idea,,another movie to watch is ;WICKERMAN'// which in a way sums up the cultism nature..if it does hit nerve endings with flying monkees and brainwashing…as the stomach turns..endless subject..bottom line is that there will always be something and multiple things robbed from your vey humanity..never to ne recovered I belive that tthw witch narcs ca actually project their bad Karma..with all the dirty scenarios akready conditionially ser along with gaslightinh and flying mokee squad witch in real terms if actually ecognized is CRIMINALHARRASSMENT AND CRIMINAL MISGEIF at the very least..not to mntion theft extortion blackmailnd other crimes/.just shy of murder although I know there was and probably still is a conpiracy to thing you arent is the YOU that You were before having been screwed hard bleached through the ringer and hung out to dry…or jushang to maybe home pickings x-9k,cor the flying monkeys or vultures to peck abd squabble about

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  22. Breakthrough Moment
    Breakthrough Moment 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    "Even sometimes in people that are normally nice, if someone is overly giving and subordinate, it can actually bring out predatory behavior in people that are normally not like that. I mean, that's what the frightening thing is. So, they don't even have to be very predatory, but just for some reason it's human nature. That's what it does." This is so true. I've observed this many times and only three people I know have stood above that, meaning when everybody else was behaving "piggishly" they showed true character and didn't yield to the negative group dynamic (against ME). It takes courage to go against the herd. Sadly, few people have that. Many people have a hard time standing on the side of truth and justice.

    15:0415:07 "It's almost like the observer changes the reality." I think you're alluding to the Heisenberg principle (which, e.g., is why "reality shows" are so "unreal" because how can they be "real" if they know they're being watched?). Quantum mechanics explains a lot.

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  23. Mariyeen Acheege
    Mariyeen Acheege 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    N's generate negativity and negative energy which steers all outcomes in a bad direction.

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  24. Drew Norton
    Drew Norton 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    murphy's law states that 'if anything can go wrong it will'!  there is no limit to what can go wrong or how many times it goes wrong!  but i agree with what you are saying!  we do need to regain our self confidence so we can catch up to being who we think we should be!   i try to become the person i would be if i never experienced horrible abuse from family members!  unfortunately many people do judge others and treat them accordingly!  i have experienced it many times in my life!

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  25. Angel DemocracyLesson#1
    Angel DemocracyLesson#1 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    In other words: 'bad people' who can potentionally harm you are all over. As a victim we are kind of 'emotionally shut down' we are brainwashed and trained not to listen to our inner radar, to disregard the red flags. We are not protecting ourselves from danger because we grew up with danger.

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  26. Shasha8674
    Shasha8674 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    "Luck" is mostly Law of attraction. What we focus on we get more of.

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  27. Shasha8674
    Shasha8674 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    "Luck" is mostly Law of attraction. What we focus on we get more of.

    Reply this comment
  28. Angel DemocracyLesson#1
    Angel DemocracyLesson#1 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    I have made the same type of observation as well. I got recently out of an abusive relationship with a covert narcissist who then turned out to be a domestic abuser/overt narc. in the end. I then reconnected with an old friend and I just noticed yesterday, these sarcastic comments of his. I have had lots of problems not just with my ex but also with my new neigbhors everyone bullied me and I ended up with the same type of abuse all around me. This old friend said to me 'so everyone is rude but you' well it is true. It is kind of like kid in school who gets bullied nothing usually justifies it. Also there are teacher they keep bullying the same type of people like you said 'they smell blood' that you have low self esteem. It is like a lion going for the meat, but often people gaslight you as if you do something wrong, but all there is to it is that you have learned not to listen to the early signs, the red flags. I have found even so called friends tell me 'you are a trouble maker' or people say 'how come this always happens to you..' as if you are doing something but you are not, you can call it bad luck, but it is really this thing that some people are dangerous and 'healthy' people may know how to listen to the inner radar and then knowing how to act in order to protect yourself so the situation perhaps doesn't escalate. It is very true that we need to learn to listen to our feelings more than anything.

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  29. Healing Vibe
    Healing Vibe 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    yes my bad luck started when I met ex narcopath, my foal died a week after it was born, my car (first time ever) got broken into. The ex quickly gave me his father's sold gold ring it got stolen out of that car. all this and more in the first few months. Just on and on bad luck , he picked up on it and would laugh and say I was bad luck. Funnily enough major decisions that have post breakup set me up well went well for me, it was as if the universe was crying out to me trying to show in the losses just what I was going to lose being with him. I also had a friend from university at that time I was first with ex tell me she got a very bad vibe off him and she predicted literally if I stayed with him longterm I would lose everything in my life.

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  30. LadyX555
    LadyX555 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Wow, I was always asking me why I hat this bad luck. Thank you for this explanation.

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  31. Russell Sova
    Russell Sova 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    I did put other people's interests ahead of mine and it got me nowhere. Religion, unfortunately, can play right into it because they teach that very thing! So I went to religion for solace and in return it unwittingly increased my pain. It took decades to get that ah-ha moment.

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  32. xKineticSparks
    xKineticSparks 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    ive never heard any of the vloggers in the community discuss this. thank you

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  33. Iaia mare
    Iaia mare 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    brilliant topic and observations! Thank you! The true woo-woo stuff is, sadly, what narcissists are made of, yet we believed them.

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  34. reyes 000753
    reyes 000753 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    I can relate to you. narcissistic people don't care about any one but themselves. now when it comes to the USA the majority of so called Americans are narcissistic.

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  35. Sky Santiago
    Sky Santiago 16 June, 2016, 06:06

    Wooiow I just did a bunch of reaearch on this too! Thank you!

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